The Devil's Law Dictionary by Harold A. Justman
	Testimony: Statements made under oath which are admissible in a court of law as a substitute for the truth. Trial: A public hearing in which the felt necessities of the times, the prevalent moral and political theories, and the avowed or unconscious prejudices and biases of the judge and jurors are all brought to bear upon the litigants in order to determine which litigant's conduct conforms the closest to prevailing stereotypes of appropriate behavior. Trial Attorney: An attorney who will do anything to win a trial while posing as one who merely seeks the truth. Truth: Testimony which cannot be proven false. Undue Influence: Influence which undoes the free agency of a person and obtains for another something which is not due to them. Unfair: Any verdict or decision against the expectations of a client. Unlawful: That conduct of a person which a judge, having jurisdiction over said person, finds distasteful to him or her. Verdict: The common ignorance of a jury expressed in written form regarding whether or not a plaintiff or defendant should win or lose and, if so, by how much as expressed in dollars. Weight: The legal principle that not all evidence is created equal. If the life of the law is experience not logic, then the life of a trial is weighing of evidence more than the admitting of evidence. Witness: Someone who thinks that they saw, heard, smelled, tasted or touched something; or feels like they did so; or feels that they have a good reason to say that they did so. X: A mark made by someone when he or she cannot obtain the signature of another person by the application of undue influence on said other person. Yick Wo Doctrine: A doctrine of the United States Supreme Court to the effect that a law which gives a government employee absolute discretion to decide who may conduct a lawful business is unconstitutional. Zoning: A doctrine to the effect that a law may give a city employee the absolute discretion to decide what conduct is lawful with regard to the use of real property.